Shortly after the loss of two babies, I began a painful journey of self-discovery. Like many, I had experienced loss in my life. I had lost friends and family. I had lost great opportunities. I had lost material things. I had even lost love.
This loss was different. It shook my core. In back to back pregnancies, I lost two baby boys during childbirth. In the years to follow, the pain of those experiences caused me to lose everything I had worked my entire life to build. I lost my career. My family. My friends. My self respect.
I lost my light and love for life.
Smiling through the pain, I pretended the hurt did not affect my life. I repressed everything. And not knowing why...I kept repeating (even hash tagging) the words "Head Up, Head Forward."
As if things weren't bad enough, I found myself homeless, with my marriage in shambles, my career in despair, and my financial situation in dire straights. I thought I had nothing. I was faced with only two options: 1) Quit or 2) Fight Hard to Live.
And that is where the real work began. That is when I discovered what "Head Up, Head Forward" really meant. This is my story. It has its moments of hilarity. There are also enough "shock-value moments" to make you cry. It is real. It is painful. And it is beautiful.
Thank you for letting me share it with you.
Erica M. Benavides